first day of school (and food allergies)

Today is my little guy's first day of kindergarten.

He was so excited from the minute he got up.  I on the other hand am worried.

"Look at the bus mami!"  (We aren't taking the bus you silly little thing.)

Not because he won't like it.  He will.  Nor that he won't enjoy learning.  He does.  Or because he won't make any friends.  He's a chatter box just like his mami.  No.  I am worried because I am leaving his life on the hands of not just one person, but many.   That is hard for me.

You see he has severe allergies to food.  (Peanuts, tree nuts, shell fish and sesame seeds to be exact.) If he comes into contact with any of these (especially the first three) he will go into anaphylactic shock (his respiratory tract will close, have trouble breathing, coughing, break into hives and eventually loose consciousness and God forbid even die.) All these years we have been very fortunate to have friends and family that are very understanding of this.  In many ways he has lived in a very control environment.  And even though he has, he still has been in the emergency room twice in his five little years.  (The first when we found out he was allergic to peanuts, the second when he was being retested.)  Both times I felt so scared.  Helpless. His life at risk. 

He attending school is a completely different story.  I loose all control.  I rely on his teacher and staff.

I have to believe that he will be okay.

I had considered homeschooling all the way up to last Thursday.  Hubby and I had been going back and forth as to what would be the best thing for him...and us.  We opted for school.  A great school, with great teachers.  We had a meeting last Friday with his teacher, clinic nurse and staff and they all seem to be on board and very understanding of his situation.  We have taken every precaution possible.  (EpiPen with him at all times and training the teacher- and every other staff member that will be around him- how to use the epipen, packing a lunch everyday, not taking the school bus, and so on.)  It eases my heart a bit.  I pray that he will be okay. 

So today is my little guy's first day of school.

He will be okay.  I will be okay.

I can't wait to hear how his day went and see that beautiful smile of his again and again and again.  I love him so.