It has been 5 months since it all began. Five months of tests and still unknowns. You would figure that by now there would be some sort of answer. There isn't. First they thought it was Multiple Sclerosis (MS for short). The symptoms are all there, they all point to it, but the tests came back negative (aside from a lesion found on my brain.) Now they think it may have been strokes. Strokes?!! So more tests are being done. More visits to the neurologists, more blood work drawn, more MRI's, more waiting. The waiting is the hardest part. I think if I just knew what was wrong I could deal with it and move one. Right? Maybe it is just an illusion, maybe that will be the case. On the mean time, I hate being in limbo. The unknown can be scary.
Out of all this unknown though, there is one thing I have learned. It is to let go. To let things be. To enjoy the now. Dishes can wait, laundry can wait, housework can wait, even blogging can wait. Those things will always be there for me to do, they are never ending tasks, they aren't as important as spending all my energy (as much or as little as I may have) with my family and friends:
Cuddling with my hubby to watch his favorite show (okay maybe not his favorite, it's just too gruesome for me, but close enough.)
Snuggling with my little ones while they fall asleep.
Snuggling with my little ones while they fall asleep.
Leaving an untidy kitchen indoors to spend time out back around the fire pit roasting marshmallows.
Inviting friends (and the lot of kids) over for a late morning brunch.
Having long phone conversations with my family far away.
Sleeping in when ever I can.
Taking it slow...or slower.
Yes this are the things I have learned this past few months of unknowns.
As they say:
After a storm comes a rainbow.
I am trying to find rainbow where ever I can.
After a storm comes a rainbow.
I am trying to find rainbow where ever I can.
Happy week friends.
